New Generation Corporation
Hello all you politicians out there! Aren’t you sick of the new generations asking questions and having “free will”? Wouldn’t it be great if you could create an army of new voters ready to vote exactly how you tell them? Well look no further! Here at New Generation Corporation we have created a new kind of clones we call them Tomorrow’s Obviously Obedient Life-forms or TOOLs for short. We can create you an army of clones indoctrinated with your platform message. They will vote for you without even knowing the name of the other candidate. They are truly the perfect supporters.
Now I know what some of you may be thinking. A bunch of people exactly the same, indoctrinated with extreme political, doesn’t that sound like a communist totalitarian regime? Well, all I can say is . . . shut the hell up! Questions are for communists! Real Americans don’t ask questions! They just vote for whoever seems the most likely to have a neighborhood barbecue and doesn’t spout tons of nonsense he learned in “books”. Ahem. Anyway, a TOOL costs $1,000. You can also buy them in bulk. We offer several packages Gang: $10,000, Mob: $100,000 ,Army: $1,000,000 ,Revolution: Priceless, I mean $10,000,000. Now I know this may seem pricey but it needs to be. These high prices keep our TOOLs out of the hands of the “middle class”.
Remember politicians you better buy fast! The elections are coming up and those ballet boxes aren’t going to stuff themselves!
New Generation Corporation, helping the leaders of today buy the elections of tomorrow.
4 comments:
You were very convincing. of course I would love to buy your product. Who wouldn't want a whole army of people who worshiped you. After awhile i would admit it could get a little annoying. I would only give the people a little bit of personality they seemed kinda dull and I wouldn't wanna hang out for too long.
Wow. What an interesting product! If I was a politician I would buy this product! This reminds me of the political machines in the 1900's with Boss Tweed! Anyway, this is a little bit pricey. What happens to the TOOLs when the election is over? That would probably be my biggest concern. I wouldn't want them following me around. I like my privacy! This is an excellent idea.
At least someone would vote...
Sir, please give me 3 revolutions. I'll need them revolt the world in to going back to the middle ages. (Can I get a 'hells yeah?')
I enjoy your policy to keep these things out of the middle class' hands. You don't know what those people (actually, I'm not sure if they're people) would do with a TOOL. They'd probably rob my New Hampshire estate. I say "fiddle sticks" to that! Thank you very much for making this product. It's priceless to me, 10 million priceless units to be exact.
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